Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
