we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
