I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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