Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
