3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Randomize
