I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
