Who did Billy Mays play for?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
