Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
