Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
