Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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