Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
