its not stalking. its research.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
