Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
My dick has a subreddit
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
