So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Randomize
