i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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