plz talk dirty to me
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
