I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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