i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
He kissed a someone with a penis
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
