i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize