Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
