So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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