I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
