you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
