She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
