Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
