They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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