he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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