Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
