what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
