weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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