what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He shit in the fireplace
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
