How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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