just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
