These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
