i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
They are going to name an STD after you.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
