can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
