Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
