Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
