I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
