Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
