Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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