so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
