doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
