omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
