Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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