I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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