remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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