HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
