you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
