Where did you get a picture of my penis
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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