did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
