so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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