2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
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