Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
