why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
