I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
wow bdsm is so cute
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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