I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
