Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
