Whod you bang
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
