If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
