I wish i was in the wii world.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize